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Old 28th January 2009, 18:49   #11
benny1982
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Re: A few more jokes.

This man got made redundant from the coal mine.
He was disgraced and said "This is the pits".

A man wanted to bury his dead dog in the pet cemetery. He bought a grave.
But he returned after buying the grave and couldnt find it anywhere.
He was aghast and had really lost the plot.

Ben

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Old 30th January 2009, 13:19   #12
jon attwood
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Re: A few more jokes.

did you know that big screens are showing hardcore porn at petrol stations now?.........it's so the motorists don't think they are the only ones getting screwed.

Jon

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attwood, sym, hales, collins, dyer, goldfinch, cheeseman, lurcock, clinch
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Old 30th January 2009, 15:06   #13
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Re: A few more jokes.

Whats Irish and looks like a parrot?
A carrot.

This man and his wife were sexually compatible for the first time in yeras.
They both had headaches at the same time.

<----- www.familyhistory.uk.com FHUK member researching ancestor names: ----->
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Old 1st February 2009, 22:36   #14
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Re: A few more jokes.

A man comes home to find his wife dead in the washing machine..he was pleased she died in Comfort!

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Old 2nd February 2009, 19:45   #15
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Re: A few more jokes.

What do you call a woman with a tile on her head?
Roof.

What do you call a woman without a tile on her head?
Roof-less.

How high is a Chinaman.

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Old 2nd February 2009, 19:49   #16
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Smile Re: A few more jokes.

Tommy Cooper joke. A man went to get onto his horse, the horse said "if your getting on I'm gettiong off".

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Old 2nd February 2009, 20:11   #17
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Re: A few more jokes.

What do you call 3 women with months on their head?
April, May and their friend June.

What two women friends always like going to America?
Mrs-sippi and her mate Beverley Hills.

Knock Knock
Whose there?
Doctor.
Doctor Who?

Ben

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Old 3rd February 2009, 20:04   #18
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Re: A few more jokes.

This man wanted to research his surname origin so he asked for a coat or arms but couldn't get a coat of arms he had to get a coat of legs.

This shop ran out of seafood.
They could only sell D food.

What fish is always eating other fish?
Jack The Kipper.

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Old 20th February 2009, 19:38   #19
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Re: A few more jokes.

Why did the man throw blood coloured Dulux emulsion all over the high street, market stalls, pedestrian areas and shopping centre?
He wanted to paint the town red.

What did the inflatable teacher say to the inflatable pupil at the inflatatble school?
You have let me down, you have let yourself down and you have let the school down.

Ben

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Old 23rd February 2009, 21:47   #20
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Re: A few more jokes.

Where in Middlesex do people go to get their clothes dirty, blotchy and messy?
Staines

Where do people go in Lancashire to get a new hairpiece?
Wigan.

What is a birdwatchers favourite daredevil sport?
Budgie Jumping.

Where in London do you find lots of stairs?
Stepney

Where in Sussex is it always light?
Brighton

Where do you go to buy some cattle?
Oxford

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