Family History UK Genealogy Forums - FHUK Funny Forum

The right investment.

p.risboy — Tue, 21 May 2013 10:41:22 GMT

If you had purchased �1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have �49.00 today.
If you had purchased �1,000 of shares in AIG insurance company one year ago, you would have �33.00 today.
If you had purchased �1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers five years ago, you would have nothing today.
If you had purchased �1,000 of shares in Northern Rock three years ago, you would have nothing today

But, if you had purchased �1,000 worth of beer one year ago at Tesco's, drunk all the beer, then taken the aluminum cans to the scrap metal dealer, you would have received �214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle.:rolleyes::2fun:

Steve.:)

The Hellawi Tribe.

leefer — Mon, 13 May 2013 18:39:21 GMT

Talking to a mate who has come back from Africa with stunning news.

He has located a rare tribe who stand at an average of only three feet high.:o

I asked him why he named them the Hellawi Tribe......he reckons they were jumping up and down in long grass screaming....where The Hellawi...where The Hellawi...:)

Blonde & Windows

DaveHam9 — Wed, 08 May 2013 09:21:58 GMT

A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains.

She tells the salesman, �I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen.�

The surprised salesman replies, �But, madam, computers do not have curtains.�

And the blonde said, �Helloooo�. I�ve got Windows!�

Missing diamond

gibbo — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 22:42:23 GMT

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/world/201...-charity-event

Reversed names

gibbo — Thu, 04 Apr 2013 21:59:29 GMT

Sandy ....... ydnas. That wouldnt make sense :rolleyes:

Lee ........... eel :2fun::2fun:

Anyone else want to add their names? :confused:

Shot down by a 12 year old

gibbo — Mon, 01 Apr 2013 08:12:13 GMT

I've always joked around with my grandkids, once telling them i lived next door to Elvis Presley etc etc Of course they were smart and just :rolleyes: me with a "yeah yeah :rolleyes: sure you did grandma"

The other night i was story telling to my 12 year old grandson and apparently he didnt believe a word i said cause he turned around and said " Yeah and i got thrown off my dinosaur" eek) :2fun::2fun::2fun:

So it appears that story telling will continue down the family line if that is a example of what is to come :2fun::2fun:

Metric Time

DaveHam9 — Sun, 31 Mar 2013 21:25:09 GMT

The government has announced that after the change over to digital television was complete in December 2013 the country would be converting to "metric time." Under the new system there would be 100 seconds to the minute, 100 minutes to the hour, and 20-hour days. Furthermore, seconds would become millidays, minutes become centidays, and hours become decidays.

New golf swing for golfers [and Lee]

gibbo — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 08:41:07 GMT

Just hurry up and hit the damn ball :rolleyes:

You ever tried that Lee? :biggrin:

Need glasses

gibbo — Sun, 24 Mar 2013 11:40:34 GMT

eek) :2fun: :2fun: